“You only need a little bit of hope to see you through.” – Lindsay Brock
“Living with an eating disorder is a constant battle inside my head. I want to get better, I do. But I’m scared to let it go because, who am I without it? What will I become? I’ve been anorexic for so long now that I don’t remember what “normal” is or how “healthy” feels. I remember when I first had to take medical leave from work. Two weeks became three months and three months became indefinite. I remember sobbing on the floor. I was hopeless. I accepted that I would probably die before I turned 30. How did things get so bad? What about my dreams? When I was a little girl, everything seemed possible, and I dreamt about going to Paris. Now I was watching that dream disappear. I couldn’t afford a trip like that, and I was so sick. But I had to go.
Paris was a turning point. It was everything I had hoped. I spent so much time in beautiful cafés while I were there. I had dreamed my whole life of having a café like that—the croissants, the cafés au lait, the culture. It all gave me hope.
Eight months after I came back, I opened the doors of Amusé Coffee Co. My husband Joe quit his job to help me fulfill my dream, even though it wasn’t his dream, not yet at least. Joe is my lifeline and I couldn’t do any of it without him. I love him, I do. The way he goes the extra mile, comes in early, stays late, picks up the slack when my health is poor.
I’m still struggling daily, to be honest. It’s hard. People don’t always understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder and that’s okay. I hope they never have to understand because the truth is scary. But when you feel love and purpose, you have hope. And you only need a little bit of hope to see you through.”
Amuse Coffee Co.
A charming and sassy French-inspired café on the fringe of downtown Peterborough.
Photo Credits: Moss Works Photography